Book Review:
The Lives and Legacies of Everyday Heroes
Every one of our children needs to know how the world is organized; each
needs principles to guide his or her actions. They need to know what is
right and what is wrong, what makes the good guys good and the bad ones
bad. They need stars to steer by. And those are the ethics we impart
and the messages we give about what matters in life. In the end, those
lessons will enrich their lives far more than gymnastics, piano, or the
very latest computer.
The exhortations to get our kids back on the ethical track may well be
pointing the finger of blame in the wrong direction. It’s easy to
believe the kids are the problem, that they ought to be the focus of our
busy efforts. Doing so absolves us adults implicitly, but maybe we
don’t deserve such an easy absolution.
The fact is that children do not learn values by hearing Barney sing
about sharing and being nice to animals or listening to our clumsy
efforts to read them morality tales disguised as bedtime stories. Sure,
these are good reinforcements: Aesop’s Fables have had quite a shelf
life. In reality though, children have always gotten their real
education in ethics from watching how the adults in their lives behave.
They do as we do, not as we say. As one psychologist described the
process, they swallow us whole and take us inside.
– Mark J. Britzman, Ed.D.