Each child is uniquely woven together like no other child. When training each child, it s important to be knowledgeable about what makes the child tick, as well as get ticked. Effective discipline is when the child can internalize each of the skills you are teaching them so they can ultimately police and discipline themselves.
Bargaining and negotiating with the child about your needed expectations is certainly reasonable. Many children lack, or have failed to develop, the skills of empathy. A large number of kids in the 4-9 age range lack these skills. Selfishness is pervasive!
Effort needs to be spent on teaching children the others point of view. Many children developmentally cannot even see the others point of view. You can check this out by putting two different colored circles back to back and asking kids what they see. Then use the circles as a launching pad to other situations and points of view.
Ask the children to change chairs and sit in the others chair where they will see a different point of view. Help them see the only way they are going to see another person s point of view is to sit in their chair. We only change our point of view when we move to another chair!
– Gene Bedley