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Code for the Road

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5 Ways for Adults to Express Anger

in Elementary Schools, Middle Schools, Primary Schools, Secondary Schools / by Gene Bedley
March 7, 2013

1 Give Yourself Permission to Express Anger.

Our society does not allow us to express strong emotions. We are taught to hold in our emotions from the earliest age. This can have a profoundly negative effect on our overall health. It’s not wrong to express anger, fear, sadness, rage. In fact, it is healthy to release these emotions regularly. What’s wrong is when we hurt someone in the process. It is preferable to find safe ways to dump the negative feelings.

2 Combine Mental and Physical Effort.

Mental therapy alone may be extremely helpful for anger release, but it can only take you so far. Similarly, the physical act of doing exercise can help many people let off steam, but it may not remove deep-seated anger. The most effective process is when you can combine both the mental and physical effort. This is when you do a particular physical activity along with the mental intention of releasing the anger.

3 Never Hurt Others in the Process.

Give yourself the opportunity to express anger in a safe way, without hurting anyone else. Most people will benefit by having a private room to pound pillows with their fists or legs, or with a plastic bat. Some people may prefer ripping pages of paper, screaming, throwing plates (old ones). Many people find it helpful to use anger-release music as a stimulus or catalyst for this process. Remember, NEVER hurt yourself in the process and never aim your anger literally at another person. What is important here is your expression of the negative emotion, NOT who receives it. If the anger (or other emotion) is traced to a specific individual, some people have found it helpful to have a symbol of this person at which they can direct the anger. This could be an enlarged photocopy of a photo on a piece of paper which you then scribble-over, tear, burn, or otherwise destroy. Be open to discovering your own dynamic anger-release method.

4 Totally Let Go, Without Hesitation.

It is also important to suggest that if you feel the need to express yourself in any of these ways, that you either are totally alone so that you don’t feel inhibited, or that you are in the surroundings of a group of people who are supportive of this type of activity. If you don’t have a private room in your house, maybe you can find a secluded area, where no one will hear or see you

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