Suggestions for working with kids that are mean to

Almost all the ideas, including the ideas on Anger management that I share in our Discipline seminar, can be implemented immediately as well as at the beginning of the year. Here are some things I would do to help a student who is mean to other children.

1. Put the words he is saying in the Anger Bag. Have him wrinkle the bag every time he puts a hurtful word in the bag. He can smooth it out with kind words. I would make a list of kind words that he needs to practice. Put these words on an attitude umbrella similar to the one I shared in the seminar.

2. Work with the entire class to generate a list of words that express strong feelings that are acceptable and post them on a chart. Use a bean bag to toss to the class . They have to state one of the ideas on the chart before they catch the bean bag. Make this into a daily game.

3. I use a “Winnie the Pooh, what would he do?” bean bag for preschool kids.

4. I would let him and the entire class know “Kids with high self esteem don’t put other kids down.”

5. I would teach him “Hurt Kids Hurt Kids”. If the child was preschool age I would teach him this concept by telling a story about a kangaroo that always hurt other kangaroos and ask what could the class do to help? I’d invite the entire class in on this lesson.

6. I would hold him by the hand and walk briskly around the room and let him know those kind of words really make me angry. Then I would say I walk fast so I will restrain myself from getting angry. I would walk fast with him holding my hand. Kids really appreciate the fact that I stopped and didn’t get angry at them. They are also glad I stopped walking.

7. Bottom line is: This child needs a lot of love. He’s really hurting! The tendency with hurt, angry kids is for us to try to solve the problem by hurting and being angry back. Anger is like a wet paint, it rubs off on everyone.

8.Help children learn ….If you hurt someone you have to heal someone with 2 compliments. I wouldn’t force this but would want him to see that he’s capable of being nice and reinforce his thoughtful acts and deeds. I’d describe the child as Chief Contrary. Be sure and let him know what is and what is not an option on your island.

9 Get a piece of sandpaper and a piece of velvet. Show him how words can be abrupt and abrasive by rubbing the sandpaper on back of the child’s hand, then show how they can be smooth like velvet when you are kind and compassionate. Be careful not to use the sandpaper too much as it might cause a wound.