After working as a clinical psychologist for more than thirty-one years, I

retired to begin my second career as a children’s author.

So far I have written three children’s values books and, as much as I love

writing my books, what I love even more are my visits to the classrooms where

the students and I dialogue about moral choices.

We begin by reading a story from one of my books, then we talk about the

thought questions at the end of the story, and after that we just “ad lib.”

I have found that there are usually four common denominators reflected in our

discussions, regardless of how the school demographics may vary otherwise.

The four issues that invariably come up are:

1) A working definition of “dishonesty”

2) Discrimination

3) Bullies

4) What “being cool” really means

1) There is always a lot of controversial discussion about defining dishonesty

and we get into some really great discussions ranging from how someone’s dad

may “cheat just a little” while filling out his income tax forms to major

cheating scandals in professional sports and on college campuses. It seems

we almost always end up talking about whether or not “absolutes” even exist

anymore when so many people seem to see everything in shades of gray.

Personally, I think there is a need for absolutes and these classroom

discussions are a great way to get our kids thinking and talking about

important issues such as this.

2) Experiences with discrimination always invariably come up during our

discussions and I have to admire the courage some of our kids have had to

muster in order just to survive, whether it be racial discrimination,

socio-economic discrimination, or whatever. This is where role-playing a

story from my book which involves discrimination can be extremely valuable.

The students enjoy the role-playing and teachers later tell me that, after

our role-playing sessions, their students tend to be much more sensitive to each

other’s needs and feelings.

3) The topic of bullies almost always comes up during our discussions. It

seems that just about everyone has had an experience with bullying in some

form and this is another instance where our role-playing the different roles

in the story can be invaluable. Many times during our role-playing sessions,

it has become evident that the bully at school may very well be the victim at

home. Again, wonderful material for a great discussion.

4) What “being cool” really means is where almost all our discussions end

up. This is where the kids talk a lot about peer pressure and the stresses

and demands of contemporary society which the “older generations” didn’t

have to cope with. And this is where the kids tend to really “let loose”

and talk about their major concerns.

I love dialoguing with our kids about moral choices and what never ceases to

amaze me is how willing and eager they are to share their personal, and

sometimes very painful, experiences. Our kids love to talk, really “talk,”

and I think the bottom line here is that we have to get these important

issues out in the open where we can talk about them.

Something else I’ve learned from our discussions is that our kids listen to

us more than we may think they do. So let’s be sure we keep talking to them

about those things which are so important to all of us.

I guess that’s really why I write my books–to get our kids thinking and

talking about moral choices.

Our kids want to talk, we just have to be there to listen!

Sandra McLeod Humphrey

Author of:

If You Had to Choose, What Would You Do? (Prometheus Books 10/95)

It’s Up to You…What Do You Do? (Prometheus Books 1/99)

Keepin’ It Real, A Young Teen Talks With God (CSS Publ. 1/03)
MORE–If You Had to Choose, What Would You Do? (Prometheus 5/03)

– Sandra McLeod Humphrey