Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend
by the name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life
but died from heart failure
at the brink of the millennium.
No one really knows how old he was
since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service
in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices,
helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws and
frivolous lawsuits held no
power over Common Sense. He was
credited with cultivating such valued
lessons as to know when to come in
out of the rain, the early bird gets
the worm, and life isn’t always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound
financial policies (don’t spend more
than you earn), reliable parenting
strategies (the adults are in charge,
not the kids), and it’s okay to come in
second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution,
the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common
Sense survived cultural and educational
trends including feminism, body
piercing, whole language and “new
math”.
But his health declined when he
became infected with the
“If-it-only-helps-one-person-it’s-worth-it”
virus. In recent decades his
waning strength proved no match for
the ravages of overbearing federal
regulation.
He watched in pain as good people
became ruled by self-seeking lawyers
and enlightened auditors. His health
rapidly deteriorated when schools
endlessly implemented zero tolerance
policies, reports of six-year-old
boys charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate, a teen
suspended for taking a swig of
mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly
student. It declined even further when
schools had to get parental consent to
administer aspirin to a student
but cannot inform the parent when the
female student is pregnant or
wants an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to
live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband, churches became
businesses, criminals received better
treatment than their victims, and federal
judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to
professional sports and showing
respect for our national flag.
As the end neared, Common Sense
drifted in and out of logic but was kept
informed of developments, regarding
questionable regulations for
asbestos, low flow toilets, “smart”
guns, the nurturing of Prohibition
Laws, and mandatory air bags.
Finally, when told that the
homeowners association restricted
exterior
furniture only to that which enhanced
property values, he breathed his
last.
Common Sense was preceded in death
by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by three stepbrothers:
Rights, Tolerance, and Whiner.
Not many attended the funeral because
so few realized he was gone.
– Author Unknown