Keeping Your Cool

Have you ever lost your temper? Did you yell and scream or want to hit someone? Maybe your little brother got into your room and played with your toys without asking. Or maybe a friend borrowed your favorite video game and then broke it. That made you mad! Everyone gets angry. We “lose our cool” or “hit the roof.” Anger can even be a good thing. When kids are treated unfairly, anger can help them stand up for themselves. The hard part is learning what to do with those strong feelings.

What Is Anger? You have lots of emotions. At different times, you may be happy, sad, or jealous. Anger is just another way we feel. It’s perfectly OK to be angry at times – in fact, it’s important to get angry sometimes. Anger must be released; otherwise it’s like a pot of boiling water with the lid left on. You need to let the steam escape or the water finally boils over and blows the top off!

What Makes Me Angry? Many things may make kids angry. You may get angry when something doesn’t go your way. Maybe you get mad at yourself when you don’t understand your homework or when your team loses an important game. Sometimes when you have a hard time reaching a goal you become frustrated. That frustration may lead to anger. Kids who tease you or call you names can make you angry. Many kids get angry at their parents because they don’t think the rules are fair. Worst of all is when you are blamed for something you didn’t do. On the other hand, some kids get angry and don’t even know why.

How Can I Tell When I’m Angry? There are different ways people feel anger. Usually your body will tell you when you are angry. Are you breathing faster? Is your face bright red? Are your muscles tense and your fists clenched tight? Do you want to break something or hit someone? Anger can make you yell or scream at those around you, even people you love.

Some people keep their anger buried deep inside. If you do this, you might get a headache or your tummy might start to hurt. You may just feel crummy about yourself or start to cry. It’s not good to hide your anger, so you should find a way to let it out without hurting yourself or others.

How Can I Tell When Someone Else Is Angry? You can see it and you can feel it. When someone you know is angry, he or she may stomp away or stop talking to you. He or she may become quiet and withdrawn. Some people scream and try to hit or harm anyone close by. If the person is really angry, you should get away as soon as possible. Once you are away from the angry person, stop and think. Try to figure out what made that person so angry. Can you make the situation better? How does the other person feel? When the other person has cooled down, try to talk about the problem. Listen to what he or she has to say.

What Should I Do if I Get Angry? Don’t lose control – taking it out on others never solves anything. Instead, admit to yourself that you are angry and try to figure out why. What can you do to keep the situation from happening again? If your older sister gets a toy and you don’t, it’s not OK to break that toy. Maybe you can ask her to share it with you. Or if your science homework is too hard, don’t rip up your notebook. Ask your teacher or a parent for help instead. It helps to talk about your anger with an adult, such as a parent, teacher, or relative. Once you talk about anger, those bad feelings usually start to go away.

– Nemerous Foundation