There are two different types of tantrums that kids demonstrate. One that we are all familiar with is used to manipulate the adult and gain power.

If you give in when they are having this type of tantrum, you really are rewarding the behavior As soon as the child starts yelling and crying and acting up, don t give in! Calmly ignore him or walk away. Set limits and stick to them!

The second type of tantrum is when the child becomes frustrated and has difficulty using their language to express what they need. You can help them through their frustration by taking guesses at what they re requesting as well as training them with the language (silent/or verbal) that will facilitate their needs.

I heard these ideas from a couple of parents who were searching for alternatives to stop the screaming.

Example 1: Two things I’ve actually done that seemed to ”help” were during my son’s screaming tantrums in his room, when closing the doors only increased the volume, I went in his room and screamed with him. I told him his screaming was making me so upset I needed to scream, too. I also showed him how to hit his pillow to release more frustration. It worked for me and surprised him so much he stopped and we were able to talk about the whole thing calmly.

Example 2: One time when my child had a ”You can’t make me, I don’t want to” tantrum, I copied him – got on the floor and repeated what he said and did. Again, he stopped dead and stared at me and tried his hardest not to smile. And then we talked a lot more calmly.

Obviously these are not methods to do in public (well, it might be less embarrassing than hitting…), but it sure helps to release that scary tension and anxiety over what to possibly do next to get the bad behavior to stop. But sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do – and I’d rather laugh than cry in retrospect over something I did in public.

– Gene Bedley