Self-Responsibility

“The buck stops here” Harry Truman, our thirty-third U.S. President, made those words famous. As our commander-in-chief at the perilous end of World War II, Mr. Truman exemplified self-responsibility leadership.

Without self-responsibility, we live in peril. There s no more important life value. Without it we walk around as a living excuse: “It s not my fault; I couldn t help it; you make me so mad; no one ever gives me a chance; she s lucky; he gets all the breaks; I don t know how; nobody ever told me.”

These I m not responsible phrases are tip-of-the-iceberg beliefs that destroy our opportunity to lay claim to optimal living. Whether we re fourteen or forty, every time we let one of these phrases come off our lips, we spade another shovel-full of dirt out of a hole in which we will someday stand wondering how did I get stuck here?

Self-responsibility is learned and earned. There s no way around it. Fortunately, you don t need to be a brain surgeon to become a powerhouse of self-responsibility. But, you must be willing to use the mental tool that will change blaming and shaming into choice making and accountability.

The tool sounds simple, but it s hard to practice at first. It s a great lesson for a character mentor to share with the special kids in their life. The lesson is called self-observation. Think of it as your candid camera. You ve seen Candid Camera on TV. It catches people in the act of doing crazy, odd, stupid and funny things. The camera simply watches. It does not judge or condemn. It just observes.

When a child learns the daily practice of self-observation, watching their thoughts and actions, they can turn the corner off blame street and move onto self-responsibility lane.

Character mentors can teach the children they loved to carry the self-observation candid camera everywhere. The candid camera will watch, not judge and condemn. The candid camera will cause a child to stop blaming others. The candid camera catches you in the act of being yourself. It lets you make an important observation: “I don t need to do that, again.”

A child using the skill of self-observation will quickly see self-responsible thoughts and actions taking charge. It s never too late to start.

– Russ Williams