Building Teenage Respect in the Classroom
Why is it that when people ask me what age group I teach, they always seem
to cringe when I respond? Besides the bewildered facial expressions, I
getcomments like, “You are a saint”, “How do you deal with all of those raging
hormones?”, “You must be crazy”. You see, I am currently teaching 9th and10th
graders, and have taught 7th and 8th graders as well. I agree thatchildren
13-16 can at times be extremely emotional, after all their bodies aregoing
through a complete metamorphosis, but like any age chilkd, a
positiveadult-child relationship, whether a teacher, parent, friend,
counselor, orcoach, is built upon mutual respect.
Teenagers are peculiar, they want to be treated like “adults” but are not
quite ready for the responsibilites that accompany the role. I have
experimented with various approaches and strategies to develop respict with my
students. While some of my strategies have been disastrous, I now feel
confident and successful in my approach to developing positive teen/adult
relationships. I find that empowering my students to be responsible for their
learning, as well as their actions, has resulted in positive, respectful
relationships in my classroom.What I mean by empowering my students, is that I
try to let them make some decisions about important issues through open dialogue in the classroom.
Dialogue is essential in the lives of teenagers. Why do you think the
telephone and friends are so important to a teenager? These things are
important because of the opportunity to dialogue and express their opinions.
Teens do not like to be told what to do by their parents nor do they like to
be told what to do by their teachers. I like to ask questions of my students
about their lives, extra-curricular activities, or current events. Even if
the subject is outside of the curriculum, I still think it is important to
let students share with each other and with me their feelings and opinions.
Of course certain ground rules must be laid before open discussions can be
held. At the beginning of the school year, I discuss with my class and
sometimes I even have to teach rules of dialogue. The rules that I use are:
1) be respectful of all views and opinions; 2) do not interrupt one another,
everyone will have a turn to share; 3) agree to disagree, it is okay to have
differing opinions with your friends; 4) when the discussion ends, it is over,
and it is time to move on; and 5) all names must be changed if a student
shares a problem or uses an example from school or the community. Students
really like to voice their ideas and opinions with each other and even like to
hear what I have to say about topices as well (usually because they think that
my ideas are so “bizarre”). I, too, enjoy hearing what the students have to
say and I learn a lot about my students by holding these discussions.
Teenagers have very strong and passionate views about issues but are rarely
given the chance to voice their opinions. Empower students a little, let
their voices be heard. Make a student feel important by listening to him or
her, and make a point to follow up with him or her whether it be in the
hallway sometime or after class. The smallest comment such as, “I enjoyed
listening to your thoughts the other day in class,” means so much to a young
person. A teenager wants to be listened to, not be told what to do.
I have learned that there has to be a fine line between encouraging teens to
make the right choices and telling them what these right choices are. For
example, if I am planning a project for my Spanish classes, let’s say a travel
brochure on a city in Spain, I explain my expectations for their work and then
I give them a scoring rubric which outlines exactly what the students must do
to make an A, B, C, D, or F. Upon completion of the project, each student
scores his or her own project and then I score it. The student and I then
compare our scores and discuss any discrepancies before a final grade is
determined.I have found this technique very successful in the classroom
because the student is 100% accountable for his/her work. If a student
chooses not to complete all of the requirements outlined for the A, there is
no questions about why an A was not given or that I am being unfair. Students
really like this method of grading papers, project, presentations, or other
work because my expectations are laid out up front and there are no surprises
in the end. Again, by empowering students to be accountable for their school
work and letting them have a hand in the grading process, there is no room for
the “unfairness” variable that many teachers have to deal with.
The two classroom strategies that I have discussed have been very successful
in promoting respect between myself and my teenage students. Teenagers need
to be listened to, but they also need guidelines about what is acceptable and
what is not. Communication is essential to developing respect with teenagers.
Teens also like to hear what adults think about issues, or even what is going
on in their teachers lives. If I am in a bad mood or have a headache, I feel
it is only fair to share this with my students. Students can pick up on
teachers’ moods very quickly and just like I would expect a student to tell me
if he or she did not feel well, I feel I should share similiar things with my
students. Again, if I expect my students to respect me, I need to reciprocate
the same values with them.I found the following quote which is good advice for
all people involved in the lives of teenagers to consider. It is by James Thurber adn reads, “It is
better to ask some of the questions than to know all of the answers.”
– Susan Scott Cummings