Death of Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
by the name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life, but died in the United
States from heart failure on the beginning of the new
millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since
his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red
tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools,
hospitals, homes, factories, helping folks get jobs done
without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules,
silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits had no power over Common
Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as
to know when to come out of the rain, why the early bird
gets the worm, and that life isn’t always fair. Common
Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t
spend more that you earn), reliable parenting strategies
(the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it’s okay to
come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression,
and the Technical Revolution, Common Sense survived
cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole
language, and “new math”. But his health declined when he
became infected with the “If it only helps one person, it’s
worth it.” virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for
the ravages of well intentioned, but overbearing, regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-
seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools
endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of
mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an
unruly student only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent
to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents
when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, Churches became
businesses, criminals received better treatment than their
victims, and Federal Judges stuck their noses in everything
from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of
coffee was hot & was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense
threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic
but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable
regulations, such as those for the low flow of toilets, rocking
chairs, and step ladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth
and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility,
and his son, Reason. He is survived by two step-brothers:
My Rights, and I’m a Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.
Author Unknown
– Author Unknown